Friday, July 8, 2011

Snot rockets and Nepalese Innuendoes

I know I have been on a bit of a hiatus, but I really forgot how time consuming work is.  This past week I have found myself not able to fit the rest of my life in with work, but who wants to hear about that...The weekend before I joined the blessed working world E and I decided to fly off to Katmandu to find our inner chi.  I do not know if total enlightenment took place but something close to that.

Waking up to the Mountains and Monkeys
Flying into Nepal there was only one thing on E's mind, not what you are thinking, it was to detox and jump start his newest infatuation, a health kick.  He is working on the artful balance of eating well, working out, and drinking in moderation.  Being the ever supportive side kick, that means I get to suffer along side of him.  It is not that I am against the idea of health, but rather just find it, I do not know what, but just not always my focus.  So the first morning when the alarm clock went off at 0700 and he was up and at em I knew I was in a bit of trouble.  "Babe, get up, we have to get to yoga!"  I peered out of the covers, moaned, and shook my head no.  But by 7:30 I found myself in a hodgepodge gym sitting a top of an old yoga mat.

The Gokarna National Park
Now, I am no yogi.  I have done my fair share of downward dogs and sun salutations but really I am just not bendy.  Lucky for me all that was really required of me to succeed in this class was to have lungs.  We breathed in and out so many times that I became light headed and it definitely was not for over exertion as we literally sat there cross legged taking deep breaths in and out.  I think our Nepalese instructor was just practicing her English.  Counting in particular.  She randomly would do counts of 10, 16, and 20 but she was pretty emphatic about the counting process.  After I was completely seeing stars and happy to be in a seated position she really brought out the big guns.  Kleenex.  I thought maybe I was sniffling just a bit too loud but nope, she instructed all of us (and by all I mean the entire class of three, I guess no one else's boyfriend's found it necessary to get up at dawn with the monkeys) to blow our noses.  Odd?  Then she instructed us to place our index and middle fingers to our right nostril alternating with pushing our thumb to our left.  What was the result?  Morning snot rockets!  Bats were released from the cave left and right and the chi in my nose was happy, if there even is chi in my nose, (I am guessing not.)

A Hike Post Work out...more on that next time!
After my nasal cavity was successfully detoxed and our instructor thought was had really pushed our bodies into a heap of rigor she requested that we lay down on the mats and I knew right away it was time for my favorite form of exercise: Vinyasa.  For those of you out there that have not been to an Ashram, this is the part of yoga were you lie on a mat, doing absolutely nothing in a meditative state.  In the past when I have partaken in this ancient practice the room is usually dark and silent, but not so in Nepal my friends.  The fluorescent lights were a blaze and our teacher instructed us which body parts to relax all the way from the tips of our toes to the tops of our heads.  She then moved down to the eyebrows, eyelids, chin, and even teeth.  In her best english she would repeat the phrase three times: "Re-wax yo tweeeff...Re-wax yo tweeeff... Re-wax yo tweeeff..."  She continued chanting us down the front of our bodies.  After we relaxed our hips and earlier we had relaxed our upper thighs, there was only one place to go.  And she went there! "Re-wax yo gen-i-tals...Re-wax yo gen-i-tals... Re-wax yo gen-i-tals!"  I look over to let out a girlish giggle to E and what is he doing?  Sleeping mouth wide, snores escaping, looking very relaxed...Oh Nepal!

1 comment:

  1. I love this post!! SO hilarious, lady. Love :)